Mrs. Abby Lerner: On Modesty and Personality

Hannah Siegel ('16)

December 8, 2014

 

Ma'ayanot students had the privilege of hearing from Mrs. Abby Lerner, a distinguished speaker and friend to many of the Ma'ayanot faculty, in an assembly December 5. Mrs. Lerner spoke about modesty, though not in terms of halakha or community norms.

 

Mrs. Lerner began by suggesting that when a girl wears a certain type of clothing, she is not necessarily giving a complete list of her qualities, but she is, however, choosing which characteristics to display to the public. She gave the example of a man dressed in punk clothes, with a purple Mohawk and piercings all over his face. Although this man may go to visit his elderly grandmother every week, his chessed is not apparent in his dress; this man has decided to display certain traits and hide others. As Mrs. Lerner said, this example illustrates that clothing matters. By wearing certain things, one is presenting a certain image to society. People should be careful and ask themselves what their clothing says about them.

 

During her speech, Mrs. Lerner asked the students questions and wanted to hear their opinions. By creating an interactive experience, she engaged her audience. Since she spoke about a topic that was very relevant to her audience, the speech elicited many reactions from Ma'ayanot students. Aleeza Katz ('16) said, “Mrs. Lerner's speech was thought-provoking and insightful. She really reinforced the importance of not being so quick to judge people based on their outer appearances.” Other students, however, wondered why an individual has the responsibility to prevent people from judging her, if she is expressing her individuality by the way she dresses. Students who were of this mindset found the speech to be somewhat judgmental, noting that Mrs. Lerner implied that by dressing a certain way, someone is inviting others to judge them, and, in that situation, it is permissible to pass judgment.

 

Mrs. Lerner's words are sure to echo in her audience’s mind for a long time after her speech, the true mark of a thought-provoking speaker. 

 

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